My self-portrait, Lamb of God, is currently on display at Xavier University Art Gallery in Cincinnati, Ohio! It’s part of a WE, the Women’s Caucus Exhibition titled Searching for Life: Regrowth & Display that felt very appropriate. The opening reception is this coming Friday, October 7 and I believe the show runs till the end of October. I am bummed I won’t be able to make it to see the show in person (unless someone wants to take a long road trip with me in mid-October) but I am super pumped because this is the beginning of a new series and the first exhibition of it. This image is part of a small set called Resurrection, which is part of a larger series that I am currently working on about spirituality. Speaking of which, I’ve been experiencing a lot of synchronicities lately. I’m not sure if this one really counts but today I sat down planning to post some sort of announcement about this exhibition and remembered that I was in the hospital with Covid this time two years ago. Out of curiosity, I opened my photo archive to see what I was doing on this day two years ago and this image was the first thing I saw. How fun is that! ⌛

I’ve included exhibition details, my artist statement, and bio for the show plus a few additional comments down below. Enjoy!

Resurrection: Lamb of God, 10/3/2020

Image Details

Lamb of God, from the series Resurrection
October 2020
18″ x 24″ Chromaluxe Metal Print

Exhibition Details

WE, the Women’s Caucus Exhibition
Searching for Life: Regrowth & Display

Xavier University Art Gallery
A.B. Cohen Center
1658 Musketeer Drive
Cincinnati, Ohio

  • Exhibition Dates: October 1-28, 2022
  • Opening Reception: October 7, 6:30-8:30 PM

Artist Statement

Resurrection: Lamb of God

In September of 2020, while we were still fairly early in the pandemic and there was a lot of fear and unknown regarding Covid-19 I contracted Covid and ended up isolated in the
hospital for 16 days. I was the only lucid patient on the floor and quickly realized I was in a unique position to document the experience from the inside. At the time not much was
known about what was going on in hospitals, how patients were being treated, or what they were experiencing. I was one of the first people in my community to experience a severe
case. I was lucid and had tons of energy thanks to all the steroids I was being given so I spent most of my time creating videos and posting on social media to shed light on the situation
and feel connected to my community.

My hospitalization with Covid was quite the roller coaster ride. I was admitted due to Covid and pneumonia but the isolation, and medications I was given ended up affecting my physical and mental health. I was under intense stress. My family and I believed there was a very good chance I was going to die, I was worried sick about my husband who was also suffering from Covid, I became manic thanks to steroids, endured a PTSD episode, experienced a variety of strange physical symptoms, but then I had something even more unexpected happen. Several seemingly supernatural experiences occurred, most likely as a result of Covid fog and steroids and I ended up experiencing delusions in which God tried to convince me that I had been chosen to be the second coming of Christ because he wanted to prove he had a sense of humor. It was both funny and distressing and the experience illustrates the stress isolation and Covid can have on the mind.

Lamb of God is part of a series called Resurrection that explores themes of death, grasping for life, sacrifice, the supernatural, and rebirth.

More About this Image (bonus)

This was taken on day 11 of my hospitalization. I had been sick with Covid for over three weeks and experienced complications with pneumonia that required me to be hospitalized. Then I experienced a series of bizarre events that included God visiting me daily trying to convince me I’m the second coming of Jesus. ROFL! 🤣

I’m still working on figuring out exactly what I experienced and what it means for me, but on this particular day two years ago my biggest complaint was thrush, a fungal yeast infection that can grow in your mouth and other parts of the body. I developed it thanks to all the antibiotics I was on and it was absolutely awful. I don’t remember exactly what it tasted like but it was very unpleasant and you can see a little of it on my lips in this image (the white bits). To treat it I had to squish a liquid medicine in my mouth a few times a day and then swallow it. I was so thankful once it was gone. 😅

Anyways, I remember feeling and looking like a zombie in this particular moment. 🧟‍♀️ I felt cold, my color was abnormally pale, and I felt drained. I’d been sick for what seemed like forever and had no idea when I might recover and be able to return home so I was also under a lot of stress and a bit depressed. When I look at this image now, knowing the rest of how my story went I see the fatigue but I also see a lot of strength and resilience. A lot of people, myself included, thought there was a very good chance I was going to die but I didn’t. Then all the crazy, but ultimately super fun and interesting stuff happened, and I and many others were worried about my grasp on reality. So yeah, this is me smack dab in the middle of what has to be the most interesting thing to ever happen to me. I swung back and forth between intense spiritual experiences that I sometimes fought and sometimes embraced and then periods where I felt more grounded and attempted to document and figure out what was happening to me. I don’t have any definitive answers, everyone, including the professionals seem to have different opinions, but I do know that I experienced something real and that there’s some truth in it somewhere plus some super fun story ideas so I’m excited to be working on this series and am thankful for this fun puzzle the universe has gifted me.

Artist Bio

Carol Record is an interdisciplinary artist and designer hailing from Alabama. Her work often explores experiences from her own life in order to investigate and raise awareness about the human experience—especially relating to memory, trauma, and mental health.

Carol earned an MFA in Visual Communication Design in 2021 and a BFA in graphic design in 2011 from Jacksonville State University. Carol is an avid gamer, community builder, and educator whose MFA research focused on game-based learning, a growing academic practice that encourages using games and gamification to engage students, improve retention, and build community. Her MFA research included the creation of Lumen, a game designed to prepare students for photographic critique and discussion. Carol is currently developing game-based learning solutions and resources for educators and students in addition to working on several projects related to her experiences with Covid, psychosis, and spirituality.

One More Thing

Self-Portrait with Self-Portrait; 2020/2022

If I don’t write about how weird and vulnerable it makes me feel to put a self-portrait like this, not to mention the story that goes with it, on public view it’s gonna bug me the rest of the day. I am really excited about this series but I’m not a huge fan of being in front of the camera so this is a bit uncomfortable for me. Age has taught me that uncomfortable things are usually the best for growth but that doesn’t really make it any easier. Anyways, this all feels really bizarre. I’m sure some of you might be able to relate. If you made it this far you’re extra awesome. Thanks for reading! 😅